So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
where are you?
Hypothermia
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
