FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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