We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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