i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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