so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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