I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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