Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
