He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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