Duck Duck Cougar?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
