it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
