i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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