It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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