i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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