She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
