Jerry, you need to find god
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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