Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
