how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
