Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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