Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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