My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
