Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How does one acquire holy water?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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