Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
