Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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