do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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