Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
