did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
