Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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