i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
