Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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