How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
