If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
