When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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