The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
