So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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