Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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