Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
