I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
