When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
