WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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