I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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