He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
