You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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