honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
