Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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