I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
