I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
