Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
