You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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