never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
