And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
